Why Men Are Just Happier People!
-
Your last name stays put.
-
The garage is all yours.
-
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
-
Chocolate is just another snack.
-
You can be president.
-
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
-
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
-
The world is your urinal.
-
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
-
Same work, more pay.
-
Wrinkles add character.
-
Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
-
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
-
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
-
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
-
One mood, ALL the time.
-
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
-
You know stuff about tanks.
-
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
-
You can open all your own jars.
-
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
-
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
-
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
-
Everything on your face stays its original color.
-
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
-
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
-
You almost never have strap problems in public.
-
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
-
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
-
You don't have to shave below your neck.
-
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
-
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
-
You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
-
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
-
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes
![]()